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Who KILLED Joel Larson?

9/14/2020

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My upcoming crime novel asks the question: What kind of bastard would kill a mentally ill person? Well, someone killed Joel Larson, and the clock is ticking to discover who.

But there’s a lot more to the story than a mere murder mystery. The lead character, a 35 year-old police detective named Maggie Taylor, has a lot to overcome. Due to her anxiety and depression, she is failing at her job as a leading police detective. Her gruff boss, Commissioner Mickey, gives her one last case to solve before she is fired or demoted back to uniform. The case he assigns her is the recent murder of the autistic 24 year-old Joel Larson.

At the same time, Maggie and her husband Jacob are struggling to conceive a child. With things looking hopeless, they adopt two siblings from Germany; a two-month old infant named Roger and his 11 year-old sister, Mallory. It isn’t long before Mallory goes missing...

Another problem ensues when Maggie’s bitter ex-boyfriend, a famous journalist named Lamont Jackson, decides to investigate the murder himself and publish a book before Maggie can solve the case on her own. In addition to trying to get her fired, he destroys her reputation by exposing a terrible secret from her past. And I mean TERRIBLE!!!

In the meantime, there are rumors that a former terrorist group is getting back together. These terrorists used to murder police officers, and Maggie fears she may be the next target.

In addition to the many problems hitting her all at once, she has to overcome them while struggling internally with bipolar disorder. 

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Joel Larson
As these plots play out, there are flashbacks throughout the book so that the readers can get to know Joel Larson and his experiences growing up. Because of Joel’s violent past, the list of suspects is a mile long. There are plenty of people with motives to kill him, including his own family members and caretakers.

Who killed him? Was it the sex worker he tried to sleep with? Was it the pedophile across the street that Joel caught talking to a child? Was it the insane homeless man that terrorizes people in Joel's neighborhood? Or maybe it was one of the men he beat up or one of the women he sexually assaulted? The possibilities are endless.


Through the eyes of Maggie, the book gives you true insight on what life can be like with bipolar disorder and how it can affect your job, relationships and everyday life. At times, her confidence and energy are soaring high. Other times, something as minor as a mere look of disapproval from someone can send her spiraling into clinical depression and self-doubt. Her condition can amplify minor things into serious trauma, heightening her reactions in certain situations.

I have worked in several social work jobs with special needs people. Joel Larson is not based on one particular individual, but many of the clients I worked with over the years inspired his character.


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A frustrated detective. (Maggie Taylor)

Joel strives to be a good person, but his developmental difficulties and poor socialization constantly stand in his way. For example, asking him a simple question like "How are you doing?" will result in a detailed and annoying long-winded answer. 

Despite this, he saved the life of a friend suffering from a seizure. He rescued an elderly couple from a vicious wolf. He acts as a role model for an 8 year-old boy. He takes care of a pet turtle. He is very intelligent and articulate in book smarts but childish in maturity. He is impulsive, rarely thinking about the consequences of his actions. He is lonely, always in search of a friend or love interest. At the time of his death, the animals in the forest are his closest friends.


Have you seen the movie, Joker? If so, you’re familiar with pseudobulbar affect, which is involuntary laughter at inappropriate times. Joel suffers from this, which greatly hurts his socialization. He also suffers from low latent inhibition, causing him to overly process minor things that most people routinely look over. He was also diagnosed with frontal lobe autism spectrum disorder, bipolar 1 disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia and constipation. Yes, that's right. Constipation.
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The book also takes a personal look at his family and caretakers. Like many people who are forced into group homes or psychiatric facilities, Joel feels abandoned by his family, as they can no longer put up with his violent behavior. (Joel was sent away at age 17 after attempting to stab his father with a knife). 

Joel’s caretakers have a high turnover rate, as he regularly physically attacks  the men. The women are not spared, as they are sometimes sexually and physically assaulted. 

Some of Joel’s caretakers make an effort to get to know him and build successful rapports with the young man. Others are indifferent and there just for the paycheck. People working as direct service supporters generally fall into one category or the other. Joel is often racist and homophobic, sometimes giving African American and homosexual caretakers the hardest time.


Realizing early in life that he packs a hell of a punch, Joel's biggest goals in life are to become an undefeated heavyweight boxing champion like his hero Rocky Marciano. His other obsession is losing his virginity.

As the book progresses, character alliances sometimes shift, people die, and plot twists are at nearly every turn.


I had been aiming to write a novel for years, but could never decide on what story to tell. I came up with the murder concept, then kept adding subplots that added more suspense and flesh to the story. I've actually written several drafts of it, but I discovered that it's best to let the characters dictate the direction of the story. This might sound silly, but I really got to know these fictional people I created. And it hurt like hell to kill some of them off! 

I planned to have the book published by now, but new ideas and plot twists kept hitting me at the last minute. 


Who murdered Joel Larson? What happened to Maggie’s daughter? Will Maggie overcome all of the problems mounted against her? 

​Read Who Killed Joel Larson to find out! Coming Fall 2020


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Does Doug Funnie Suffer From A Mental Illness?

11/30/2019

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Disclaimer: This is all my opinion. 

Sometimes it takes one to know one. I used to think that Doug's anxieties and problems were typical of a boy his age. But as an adult, I see so easily now that things run a lot deeper than that. Myself being a victim of manic depression and mild anxiety, I see that Doug suffers from many of the same symptoms but worse. Far worse, actually. I don't let my anxieties run my life. In fact, you wouldn't even know I had manic depression if I hadn't just told you. But Doug, however, almost had a nervous breakdown in each episode, often making a mountain out of a molehill.

Doug is also eager to please others, often looking for their approval and acceptance. I am still this way to a moderate degree, but it was worse when I was little. But even then, I didn't let it control my actions,  and I didn't go out of my way for closure. But that's what Doug does each time. He feels that his very existence depends on the acceptance of others.

If Doug gets the vibe that you don't like him or are upset with him, he will get anxious about it and then go out of his way to change your mind about him. People's perceptions of you shouldn't matter that much.

​As an adult, is Doug going to feel threatened by everyone who gives him a mean look, or doesn't behave the way he expects them to? And will he not be able to function until he gets closure from them? Because that's exactly how he is right now.
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When Doug thought his substitute teacher didn't like him, he tried like hell to get on her good side.


Relationship With Roger


Doug has an unhealthy mind, unhealthy enough to where his bully Roger Klotz is a real, real antagonist. Doug hates Roger to the point where he is the villain in most of his fantasy segments and comic books. Doug is one of Roger's favorite victims, sure. But that is because Roger can see how much his antics bother Doug. After all, bullies like reactions.

But Roger respects Doug as a friend – he trusted Doug to look after his cat Stinky when he left town, he “tattled” to Mr. Bone when Doug was about to get his ass whooped by Percy Femur, and the two had several heart to heart conversations, the most memorable one being in the graduation episode when both were afraid of their uncertain futures. He even threw Doug a surprise party once. Roger does not hate Doug. In fact, occasionally his actions have shown that he actually cares for Doug. I think he just gets a kick out of messing with him for his own amusement.
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Remember also that Roger has his OWN personal problems, stemming from being abandoned by his father and living in a trailer with his mom. Roger is an unhappy and lonely individual, and entertains himself by bullying his peers.


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There were numerous hints that Patti had a crush on Doug, but his anxiety made him oblivious to this fact.


​Relationship With Patti

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Doug, on the other hand, takes Roger's antics personally. Doug is an 11 year-old kid. Roger pulls humiliating pranks, but causes no real harm or threatens Doug's life in any way. Doug can barely handle Roger, which leads me to believe that real life will really kick his ass later.

How will Doug react if a boss fires him from a job? How will he react if a girl he likes rejects him? Will he imagine these people as evil super-villains out to get him? Will he get anxiety around them and have night terrors and horrible daydreams about them? He probably will!! And this will affect him in every possible aspect of his life.

Roger is not the only person taking center stage in Doug's mind. Doug is in love with Mayonnaise. Patti Mayonnaise. Doug goes overboard trying to impress her and this sometimes backfires. What Doug doesn't realize is that Patti likes him just as much. Look at the picture above. Patti has hearts floating around and is giving him true eyes of wonderment. This is not part of Doug's  fantasy sequences. This was an actual real life scene, just after Doug psyched out Roger. (Doug To The Rescue, Season 1 episode 7B)

Unfortunately, Doug is not an observant and self-confident individual, so this information misses him completely.

In different episodes, Patti asks Doug out on a date, reveals that she likes him “best of all” out of all of her friends, defends him from Roger, and is his biggest supporter and admirer. Doug unfortunately is too self-observed with getting HER approval, so he's oblivious to Patti's obvious affection. Sighs. If Doug could overcome his self-doubts and anxieties, all he'd have to do is tell Patti how he feels, and Patti would happily be with him and they'd both be happy.

I get the feeling that in a few years when puberty kicks in and Patti drops hints to Doug about exploring their relationship sexually, her hints will go completely over his head and Patti will wind up being with someone else, then Doug will get jealous of that guy. Patti will get fed up with Doug's insecurities, and Doug will doubt himself even more, which will hurt his future romantic relationships. This is a theory and opinion, yes. But I just don't see it going any other way.
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Doug's date with Patti was awkward. You'd expect him to "man up" and make a move.


​Doug's Manic Creativity


​Manic Depression means you have cycles of mania, which is when your confidence and creativity soars like an eagle, but you also have cycles when you're super unhappy without reason. Have you noticed that Doug is generally either  really creative and energetic OR really frustrated? He's either one or the other. That's how manic depression works. You're either on top of the world, or feel crushed by the world. There's not a real in-between, and the people who suffer from it are generally highly creative when they're feeling manic.
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​Sweaty, STANKY Anxiety


Doug's insecurity is noticeably higher than most. When Skeeter's two year-old brother Dale calls Doug “big nose,” Doug gets butthurt about it and is severely hurt by the words of a TWO YEAR-OLD. He let an infant's words control how he felt about himself. For the rest of the episode, Doug was sensitive about his nose, all because a baby told him it was big.

​Doug often imagines the absolute worst-case scenario in almost every situation. On his way to the Honker-Burger in the first episode, he suddenly imagines not fitting in and the entire city (including the mayor) calling him a loser. Why the hell would he feel this would happen? It doesn't make any sense, but that's how people with anxiety and/or depression typically think.

Doug also assumed that Judy's performance at his school would be horrible and humiliating, but his peers absolutely loved it. Again, predicting the worst.

This can make for a humorous cartoon at times though, like when he broke Mr. Dink's grill and imagined him turning into a nasty werewolf.  But unfortunately this is a sign of true anxiety. 

Like other people suffering from anxiety, Doug is a "mind reader." He assumes that people people may not like him or something he's done, even if there's no evidence of this. 

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An example of this is  in the episode when Doug was caught drawing a (terrible) portrait of his teacher, Ms. Wingo. Doug assumed she'd despise him for it, but she loved it and added it to her book of pictures drawn by past students.

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​Unhealthy Escapes From Reality


Doug does not appear depressed, but he often escapes from the real world, which is what depressed people do.

While he feels that he doesn't quite belong in the real world, Doug often imagines that he is a super-hero in his fantasies. In this world, he does nothing but good and comes to everyone's rescue. He is needed and admired. He is special and charismatic. He gets the approval he so desperately craves in real life. And, the horrible villains in his fantasies are the very same people who cause him minor problems in real life.

When he wants to feel suave and charming, he channels Smash Adams (Secret Agent). If he wants to feel brave, he becomes

Everyone needs to escape to get away from your worries and woes. Everyone escapes in their own way, but the way things are so heightened in Doug's fantasies is not normal in my opinion. In reality, Roger Klotz is a lonely teenager who bullies his friends to feel self-worth. He is not out to kill Doug or destroy him. But in Doug's imagination that's what Roger is often portrayed as.

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Writing in his journal helps Doug re-evaluate his problems. By the end of each episode he realizes that things weren't so bad after all.


​What Doug Does Right
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​I know most of what I've said has been negative so far, but I'm merely stating how Doug's mental problems affect his life and relationships overall. But there are some things that Doug does right.

For starters, he keeps a journal. That's something else I have in common with Doug. Journal-writing keeps your writing skills sharp, and helps you to honestly evaluate everything going on around you. 

Doug is also vocal about his problems. Instead of bottling things up like a future serial killer, he doesn't mind venting. Generally, he confides in his father, The Dinks, his best friend Skeeter and sometimes Patti. Occasionally, he'll even go to his flamboyant sister Judy for advice. When his journal went missing, he opened up to Ms. Wingo, who understood his plight, but informed him that a lot of great authors had their journals published to give insight into their genius. This was great advice that Doug briefly considered. 

Talking out your problems is healthy and helps you to process things. You'll often discover that sometimes things may not be as bad as you think.

Doug is not a bad person and has a moral code, like the time he returned the money that he found. He often finds the courage to do the right thing when he messes up, like returning the stolen comic book he bought, not cheating to sell Mr. Swirley's chocolate, trying to retrieve Patti's "wacky whizzer," and confessing to breaking Mr. Dink's grill. All of these were things he was not forced or required to do, but he has a great conscience and felt a breather after confessing.

He goes out of his way to help others. such as acting as “Hamburger Boy” for Mr. Dink. He even felt bad about knocking out fellow student Larry. Most boys his age would feel great after knocking someone out, but not Doug. He didn't like to fight.

If Doug did not let his anxieties get in the way, he would be Patti's boyfriend. He would be more popular. He would not be targeted by Roger or even faculty bullies like Mr. Bone so much, if at all. Overall, he would get more respect from people.

I look at Doug now and realize that if I gave in to the negative thoughts plaguing my mind, I could have been just as vulnerable and unhappy, and my life would be totally different right now.

For me, it comes down to this.

If I didn't expect people to like me, they wouldn't. The day I met my wife, I approached her confidently and expected her to fall in love with me, and she did. When I write an article, I expect people to enjoy it. And they do. I expect people to read this blog, and sure enough, you're reading it right now.

Doug (and other sufferers of anxiety) always predict the opposite, expecting things to fail. They often speak these failures into existence or avoid taking risks altogether and wind up with regrets. We never got to see Doug grow up, but I can't help but feel afraid for his future if he didn't get help.


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    Award-Winning Journalist A.J. Dugger III

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    A.J. Dugger is an Award-Winning Television and Print & Media Journalist.

    He appears as a crime analyst on the TV-One crime series, For My Man, and is the author of three books: Black Journals,  the horror anthology SoUtHeRn TeRrOr, and The Dealers: Then and Now, the sensational story of his mother and uncles' career as a funk band.

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